12 LIFE LESSONS

Keep Walking; Life is a Journey

Life is a journey filled with experiences, some joyful, others challenging, each one offering an opportunity to learn, grow, and evolve. Along the way, we gather wisdom not just from our successes but also from what we deem failures, relationships, and quiet reflections. The following life lessons serve as gentle reminders and guiding principles that can help navigate life with more clarity, purpose, and peace.

Failure is not the opposite of success—it's part of it.

1. Mistakes teach more than easy wins ever will.

We all make mistakes in life, but our reaction is different. A lot of times, thoughts cross my mind about what I would have done differently. Regrets fill the mind about how much better I would have handled stuff, including my social and financial life. Ever been in a situation where you feel like you have overshared information, and then it all comes back and backfires on you? Or been part of a team, working on a project, and then it fails because of an idea that you gave, and now everyone is blaming you? Relax, mistakes are meant to teach us and help us mature. Easy wins breed and boost one's ego, but mistakes make us wiser. Mistakes come with lessons that teach us what not to do or how to do it better.

2. Discomfort means you’re growing.

For quite some time, I feared losing friends and couldn't speak against anything that made me uncomfortable. I was the "yes" dude, who was always available whenever called upon, and when someone asked for help, I was ready to come through for them at my own expense. I would even afford to sleep hungry, just to help in order to keep a friendship. I feared saying no to disrespect, even from my seniors. It all changed one day when someone pushed me to the wall. She told me something that dented my ego, and it was at that moment that I decided to give her a piece of my mind. From that time, disrespect came to a stop, and it was the start of my growth. I made sound financial decisions that enabled me to meet my set goals. I was not available anymore. I only called those who called me. In short, I gave out what I received in equal measure. Growth comes with discomfort and begins when comfort comes to an end. It calls for stretching beyond who you are and trying to adopt a different personality.

3. Growth happens when you stretch beyond the familiar.

I am lucky to have been in situations that called for stretching beyond the comfortable limits. I have also watched toddlers learn to speak, sit, stand, and even walk. A few years ago, when my daughter was born, we were all excited to see the fruit of our labour. We watch her grow and overcome all the milestones. However, there is one milestone that made us worried: walking. The girl could talk, sit, and stand, but she couldn't make a step despite the fact that she was normal. Being in an African setup, we were advised to do many things so that she could walk. Others advised me to stop sleeping around, as this delayed the milestones. I do not know why they suspected me of cheating on my partner. Despite all the challenges, we kept on believing and knew that the only thing holding back the girl was fear. She feared stretching beyond the familiar, but the moment she overcame the fear, walking became easy. As a matter of fact, the moment she made the first step, the transition to running did not take long. So even you do not fear stretching beyond the familiar limits. There is a common saying in Kenya that encourages people to push harder.

Endelea kujituma, siku moja itajipa.

4. Discipline beats motivation.

Millennials lived most of their lives being motivated by motivational speakers. You would see people seated somewhere listening to motivational speakers, yet after that, life went back to how it was; no change or impact. Gen Zs and the same millennials no longer want to hear any of that because motivation excites your soul, but it never brings results. If you search online about the successful people globally, then you will realize that discipline and cosistency defines their success.

On hard days, motivation feeds your emotions, but discipline builds results.

4. Wake up early and always see the beautiful rising sun.

Everyone who grew up in the countryside experienced the beautiful sunrise, with a chilling cold that refreshed our minds. As young school-going kids, we were encouraged to wake up very early in the morning and study because morning refreshes the mind. I recall that every time I woke up back in the day, I would go out and face the direction of sunrise. Then there was a hill (Masaita) opposite our house that got the first flashes of the sun. It was a joy to watch. I didn't know how important sunrises are until I moved to the city. With busy schedules, jams, and the chaotic nature of Nairobi, one rarely remembers to see the sunrise. These early mornings have turned us into birds, rushing to catch the worm before other worms.

Early mornings reset your mind, reminding you that everyday is a fresh beginning filled with quiet power. Sunsets and evenings remind you to meditate and enjoy the present.

5. Don't overthink about the future. Everything happens for a reason.

I had always had this fear of "What will happen if I lose a family member?" Every time there was a funeral, and I attended, I asked myself, "So-and-so has gone, so who is next?" These thoughts instilled so much fear in me until I lost a very close relative. At some point, my world was dark, everything was not making sense anymore, and I asked God so many questions. But then, it dawned on me that people have been losing their loved ones. That changed me, and I stopped overthinking about things that I could never change. I started living life and doing what I could because I understood that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, when we lose someone to sickness, more often than not, we see the negative side, but there is another side. Maybe it happened so that we could not stretch our resources to try and save them and maybe end up losing them again.

Never fear, because there is nothing to fear.

6. Visualize your dream lifestyle every day.

We all had those dreams. As an adult, am I still allowed to dream? I guess so. Many people have had childhood dreams, but along the way, they have redefined their dreams because things did not go as planned. We have worked on our dreams, but as we grow older, the distance keeps growing. Despite this, we still try to work towards achieving them because we have them written down and permanently engraved in our minds. When you visualize and believe in it, then you will surely do everything to achieve it.

Strongly believe you will live that lifestyle.

7. Listen more and speak less.

When you go to a new place and find people talking, pay close attention to the one who talks less. They say wisdom grows in silence because you learn more by listening to others. Talking more will show your weakness and will have people disregarding you. Learning the art of listening will help you understand yourself and gain insightful skills from everyone, regardless of their age.

8. Be you. Live by your values.

I am reminded of a political season in Kenya where one politician stood against what the majority believed in. It was in the late 2000s, and Kenya needed a new constitution. The constitutional review process had begun several years earlier, with young, energetic Gen Xs who were tired of the former president, the late H.E. Daniel Moi. So when the constitutional amendments were proposed, one politician, William Ruto, opposed them. The motive was not known, but word has it that he wanted to test the waters as the country approached another electioneering period. The yes team won, and the country got a new constitution, but the lone ranger stood with what he believed in. That person is currently the president of the Republic of Kenya, and we have seen him push for what he believes in. He has taken routes that have made him fall short of favor. His deputy was impeached because of the belief that he did not support the president. As we speak, Dr. Ruto has a housing project that is unpopular among a section of Kenyans. He also reviewed the medical scheme (NHIF to SHIF), introduced a housing levy tax, and is on a mission to improve the lives of young people through a World Bank-funded NYOTA project. Whether the lives of the young people improve is a story for another day, but the point is that he stood with what he believed in.

Solitude is better than betraying yourself

9. Never expect anything. It's the gateway to a happy life.

Expectation leads to disappointment. In our final year in college, we all talked of an uncle or aunt who worked somewhere and could help us kickstart a career. We talked about how they would link us with new opportunities and even welcome us to their houses in the city. Fast forward to when we graduated, and nothing came forth. The calls that we made went unanswered, and our expectations dwindled. You could be that uncle or aunt that your nephews and nieces look up to. Life could not be good right now. You now understand that your calls were not neglected, but your aunt or uncle never wanted to disappoint you. Teach your young ones and siblings to expect nothing from people.

Remember, no one owes anything in this life.

10. Be bold to stay alone.

Never bow to societal pressure. There are people whose self-esteem is affected when they lose friends because of standing true to their beliefs. People stay in abusive relationships or marriages because they fear what society and their friends will think of them. In the long run, they end up hurting themselves. To avoid this, just be you and live by your values.

11. Always set your heart on the divine.

We are spiritual beings, and a healthy spirit is a healthy physical being. Feed your soul with good vibes, master the art of positive thinking, get close to your creator, and guard your heart from any negative energy. Your thoughts shape your reality.

Watch your mindset; it becomes your life

12. Not everything deserves your reaction. Choose peace over being “right.”

You will get into areas where people prefer fights over peace. Life won't be smooth forever. Your spouse will get disrespected, and so will you. Amidst any chaos, choose peace over fight. Silence is more powerful, and peace is valuable than being right.