A Dowry-less Generation

It is 2026, and some cultural practices need to be done away with. This issue arose during a discussion with a group of friends, where one of the guys argued that certain traditions should be abandoned. To add salt to the wound, he stated that dowry payment is an archaic practice that has no place in modern society.  Several women strongly defended the practice, arguing that women play a significant role in marriage and that dowry is simply a token of appreciation for their contribution.  Another participant insisted that culture should not be abandoned. When I asked him, “Which culture?” he fell silent. Nonetheless, the discussion continued for nearly two hours, revisiting the origins of these practices and examining whether dowry is uniquely African or a practice found across different societies.  Let us, therefore, delve briefly into history.

What is the origin of dowry payment?

Dowry payment originated as a social and economic activity in ancient societies. The economic aspect was not as it is today. For instance, in ancient Babylon, as recorded in the Code of Hammurabi, dowry was property given by the bride’s family to the bride, intended for her financial security. The most interesting thing is that the husband was supposed to manage the dowry as part of the family property. The intention of the dowry (which depended on how much the family could afford) was to provide the bride with security. It was a way to give daughters wealth and security, as they couldn't inherit land. Other texts, however, show that dowry payment was done by the groom's family, and any property brought by the bride remained hers. In the Kenyan context, several texts show that dowry payment was done by the bridegroom's family as a way of showing commitment and as a token of appreciation to the bride's family. 

In a society with more single men than women,  a dowry was paid to ensure a groom received a bride -- Ebsco.com

The statement above strongly indicates that dowry payment rules were flexible so that they could meet the needs of a particular society. 

In other societies, such as medieval Europe, dowry resonated with power. Aristocratic families used it to enhance a woman's desirability, as a means to build and preserve power and wealth, and to settle border disputes. During the Industrial Revolution, people sought to finance their weddings with or without the approval of their parents, instead of paying a dowry.

The 20th Century Woman

As the twentieth century progressed, women became woke and enlightened. They felt that men viewed them as their property, which they argued was catalysed by dowry. Alphonce Odhiambo, an advocate of the High Court, provides grounds for aboliton of dowry payment in Kenya. He says he has seen women being "sold" in open-air markets by their husbands, who believe that, having paid their wives' dowries, they are part of their property. This is part of what has led to the fall of the concept of dowry payment in many parts of the world in the twenty-first century.

Dowry-stortion

Not an English word, but we have used the term dowrystortion to imply that the modern-day dowry negotiation and payment is a ploy to milk resources from young men who desperately need to build families.

Unlike how it used to be in the past, where the bride's family saved for their daughter from birth, the burden has been transferred to the man, who more often is expected to pay huge sums of cash alongside traditional livestock and financial help for the bride's family. 

A case for consideration is from a Reddit subscriber, worldisco, who asked how much the bride price in Kenya is. This is his question:

I am an african american interested in marrying a young kenyan woman (22F) from the Luo community. She has a university degree (bachelor), no kids. She values her family's tradition. She told me knowing her value I should be expecting to give 30 cows and 10 sheeps as dowry. Is that bride price in the norms? Seems to me a bit high. Please tell me your thoughts and how can someone gauge the proper amount to pay (as I do want to respect her family's traditions). Thank you.

From the discussion, it appears that people put in an average of about $10,000, which, in my opinion, is too high. The case above is not the only one, as we have also seen on social media and as also reported by the Nation, that social media influencers and content creators publicly declare bride prices in the range of $15,000. This brings in a transactional exchange picture, leading to financial strain for men. 

The Impact

Because of the feeling that the modern-day dowry is about distortion, many Western cultures no longer practice it. There are cases where those who paid for the dowry commodify their wives, leading to violence. There is also an argument that in-laws may feel entitled to mistreat a woman because she was "bought." In modern society, most men and women alike have termed marriage as slavery, pointing out the lack of freedom to live life. In 2022, a Kitale-based man claimed that he was unable to find a wife because of the high bride price.

Unregulated bride price could prove to be a disaster in the future.