In any work environment, there are unwritten rules, popularly known as street rules that you must master if you are to survive there for long. A story is told of a guy who revealed his future intentions of taking a loan and building a home for his family, to a "friend" employee. A few weeks later, he was fired on allegations of being corrupt. After a year of investigation, he was found not guilty. Here are the twelve rules that will keep you in the game for long, without brushing shoulders with your "colleagues" friends in the workplace.
- Always do just enough not to get fired
- Play a 'sod'
- Your colleagues and workmates are your secret enemies
- Keep your house private. You should never invite your colleagues to your home.
- Keep your WhatsApp private. By private we mean, never disclose your small steps or winnings on WhatsApp. Limit the statuses, but if need be, let them be flat. Avoid receiving or communicating work-related stuff on your WhatsApp. If they communicate on WhatsApp, reply via email.
- Don't engage in office activism
- Employ the short-term memory principle.
- See no evil hear no evil
- Don't keep your side hustle private. Bury it, and have the access key to the grave alone. It should never be known, that you have a side hustle.
- Isolate yourself in a group of three
- Be the boardroom mouse.
- Stay ignorant of the law
- If you have to say something personal, just shut up. If you can't, give more than three versions.
- Identify one friend
- Your response to the question, "how is life," should always portray the negative.
