Are You a Man Under 30 Years? Here are 7-Under-30-Years Commandments

What I wish I Knew Before I Turned 30 Years Old

Growing up, I never had the privilege to get advice from a 30-year-old man on what awaited me when I hit the third floor. Growing up with a career-driven dad didn't do me all that much good, but he did his part by ensuring that we had a comfortable life. I therefore had to figure things out myself after turning 30. Here are my lessons that might also help you.

1. Until you have defined what life is, never commit to a relationship.

Defining life in this context has been used to imply a point where you can live the dreams that you had. This entails understanding your purpose, value, and direction. A purpose-driven life makes it easy for you when you eventually get married. Many times, young men and women rush to settle down so that they can work on their dream life with the love of their life, but in so many cases, this backfires. At 24, our old men really want us to get someone and settle down, but deep down, we know we have unfinished business. Our lives at that age are still in shambles, and one can't even deal with their own needs. Committing before defining what life is will put you under pressure that would otherwise have been avoided. Therefore, as a young person, build your empire, then get yourself a queen or king to manage that empire.  

2. Do not take long before you move out of your parents' house.

Overstaying at your parents' house ingrains in you a lazy culture. Moving out early enough will teach you responsibility, independence, and discipline at a young age. However, due to life's unpredictable nature, always be ready to go back when things do not work out. This will help you rethink and restrategize. Wisdom is knowing when to leave, how to do it with dignity, and how to return home shamelessly.

3. If you have an income in your 20s, use that money to build yourself. 

Not every person is privileged to have an income in their 20s. Many see this decade as a period for comfort, but the truth of the matter is, if you find comfort in your 20s, then your 30s will put you into depression. Invest in skills, education, and tangible assets. If you are into land, buy as much as you can. I always tell my students, if at any point in life, you have the resources but do not know where to invest, just go and buy a piece of land. You will never go wrong with this. Lately, people are also advised to invest in shares and stocks. Whichever direction you choose to take, just make the right decision before you invest. 

4. Do not spend more than two years in a job or business where you are not seeing any progress in your life, be it career-wise or business-wise.

Jobs and businesses are supposed to expand your skills and help you grow financially. I know of people who have spent more than five years in the same job, and they still cling to it, with no tangible progress. Move on to other things. Staying in a job that does not guarantee you progress slowly shrinks your future.  Before you hit 30, you still have the privilege of time.  Use this period to explore, make mistakes, and learn, because after 30, you will not have the privilege of time. This is a lesson that I learned the hard way.

5. Don’t wait for a partner to start living your life.

If you peg your happiness on somebody else, you will never live a fulfilled life.  Fulfillment is not something you get from somebody else. You can get it by building routines, setting and achieving goals, eating and living healthily, and creating an identity.  A relationship should complement a life already in motion, not become the reason it starts.

6. Stay away from alcohol

It always starts as a simple social activity that helps us relax our minds after a busy week. It then slowly becomes a habit, where we cannot work well without taking something. Before we know it, the tots become glasses, and glasses become bottles. Bottles of beer slowly upgrade to whisky and gin, because we are past soft drinks (beer).  Alcohol breaks people. It steals your peace and quietly taxes your discipline, judgment, health, and finances. What begins as “social” often becomes habitual. Progress requires sobriety, clarity, consistency, and self-control, things that alcohol undermines. I have seen many people whose lives have been destroyed by alcohol abuse. 

7. Join a group/chama and pool resources together. It is an easier way of saving for a project.

A group helps you mobilize resources without a struggle. The old chamas people came together, collected money every two weeks, and that money was given to one person. The person would decide where to put their money. But nowadays, chamas have evolved. The money collected by members can be invested in money market funds or saved in a sacco, where the members will get dividends at the end of the year. So, as a young person in your 20s who has an income, take advantage of these avenues and start building a solid financial foundation.

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